Conversation is an art, and like any art, it takes practice to perfect. Unfortunately, many men make the same mistakes over and over again when they’re talking to women. These mistakes can range from the small and annoying to the big and deal-breaking.
In this article, we’ll go over eight of the most common conversation mistakes that men make that turn women off. We’ll also give you some tips on how to avoid these mistakes so that you can have more successful and enjoyable conversations with the women you meet.
Coming on too strong
No one enjoys being overwhelmed with attention or feeling like they’re being suffocated by someone. So, when it comes to talking to women, it’s important to take things slow and let the conversation move organically. By bombarding them with too much attention, you can come across as desperate or insincere, which is a major turnoff.
It’s okay to make the first move and show genuine interest in what they have to say, but try not to be too eager. Women appreciate a man who can be patient and give them time to warm up to him instead of coming on too strong right away.
Talking Too Much About Yourself
The key to any conversation—with a woman or anyone else—is balance. Unfortunately, when it comes to conversations with women, many men tend to go overboard and talk too much about themselves.
It’s easy to assume that women are interested in every single detail about our lives, but remember that she hasn’t come here for an autobiography. In reality, talking too much about ourselves is usually more off-putting than attractive. Instead, make sure that you focus on learning more about her and the topics she’s interested in. Ask her questions, and be genuinely interested in what she has to say. That will show her that you care, which is much more attractive than dominating the conversation with your life story.
Also, avoid sharing too much personal information right away or using this as an opportunity to brag or boast about your accomplishments. Sure, you can definitely mention a few things here and there when the conversation naturally leads there, but overall, try to keep the focus on her instead of yourself.
Being too nice
Another mistake you should avoid when talking to women is being too nice. Most women don’t want a pushover—someone who will agree to everything she says without question. While it’s important to be respectful and courteous when having conversations with women, you don’t want to come across as a doormat. Instead, express your own unique opinion and show that you’re confident in what you say. This will make her more likely to respect and listen to your point of view.
Women also don’t like it when a guy just agrees with everything they have to say; it can make them feel like their opinions aren’t valued or respected. So even if you disagree with something she says, it’s important that you express your opinion in a polite and respectful way so she still feels respected. If done correctly, this can also create an interesting debate or conversation that both of you can enjoy!
Talking about ex-girlfriends or ex-wives
No one likes hearing stories about old flames. It’s a major turn-off for many women. So if you’re trying to get to know someone new, be sure to avoid talking about past relationships. Not only does it make it seem like you’re still hung up on your ex, but it also makes the other person feel like they’re being judged or compared.
At the same time, don’t try to hide the fact that you have had relationships in the past—just don’t make them a major topic of conversation when it’s unnecessary. Even if something related to an ex comes up in conversation, focus on how you learned and grew from that experience instead of rehashing old arguments or hurt feelings.
Let women know that while your previous relationships were important, they are not relevant to the present moment—and that you’re looking forward to starting a fresh, new connection with no baggage holding you back.
Not taking cues from her body language or responses
It’s easy to talk too much—we all do it sometimes. But if you don’t pay attention to the cues she’s giving off, you’ll find yourself talking right over her. This is a definite no-no; not only will she be put off by it, but it also shows that you don’t care about her opinions or feelings.
If she looks uncomfortable or doesn’t react positively to something you say, take a step back and give her space to respond. Don’t keep pushing your point—this shows that you lack self-awareness and communication skills. If it looks like she doesn’t want to continue the conversation or doesn’t understand the topic, respect that and move on.
Another key sign is if she changes the topic abruptly—this is a clear indication that she’s not interested in what you have to say about whatever was initially being discussed. Pay attention to these signals, as they’ll help guide the flow of the conversation and make sure neither of you feels uncomfortable or awkward.
Being too pushy or aggressive with physical contact
It’s natural to want to build a connection with someone, but this isn’t something that should happen right away. Being too pushy or aggressive with physical contact is a major turnoff for women. You don’t have to go out of your way to avoid physical contact altogether, but it should be done gently and without rushing. Start off by gently touching her arm when you’re talking, and progress from there.
Physical contact can make her uncomfortable if it feels forced or overly aggressive, so try to move slowly and pay attention to her reactions. If she’s easily pulling away from the touch or avoiding eye contact, take it down a notch and be more subtle with your physicality.
That being said, if she reciprocates the physical touch and seems comfortable with it, then you can keep going at the same level of intensity. It’s all about reading the situation and responding accordingly. Being able to read her body language will let you know how far is too far in terms of physical contact, but always err on the side of caution when it comes to potentially making someone feel uncomfortable—no matter who it is!
Using inappropriate or offensive language
No one wants to hear offensive or inappropriate language when they’re talking to someone, and this rings especially true when talking to women. Not only is using such language disrespectful, but it can also make the other person feel uncomfortable and disrespected.
A few examples of this language include cursing, discussing adult topics in an inappropriate manner, or using racial slurs. If these topics come up during conversation, it’s important to be mindful of the way they are discussed. Refrain from using any language that could be offensive and instead focus on keeping the conversation open and respectful.
Another mistake is forgetting that there are certain topics that many people find offensive or uncomfortable, such as religion or politics. Unless you have established a comfort level with each other prior to discussing these topics, it’s important to take a step back and avoid engaging in debates about them.
Finally, remember that what seems funny to you may not be funny to someone else who has experienced different things than you have. Therefore, try your best not to use humor as a way of making light of serious topics like racism or sexism, as it can come across as unkind or insensitive.
Related: How to Make Her Chase You
Not taking rejection gracefully
Nobody likes rejection. But one major mistake men make is not taking rejection gracefully. Women can pick up on your insecurities and doubts if you don’t handle being turned down with poise and self-confidence.
If she’s not interested, trying to convince her to change her mind will only make matters worse. Instead of trying to plead your case, take the rejection with grace, tell her you understand, and then continue the conversation with something light and casual. This will demonstrate that you respect her decision and that you’re confident enough to bounce back from rejection.
This may be easier said than done, but learning how to handle disappointment in a mature manner is key if you want to make a good impression on women.
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